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抖音最火的幽默搞笑說說大全 讓人笑趴下的逗比說說

2020-05-13 22:56:44處世

1、小時候外婆經常給我吃一種洋咖啡,長大了才知道那是板藍根。

When I was a child, my grandmother often gave me a kind of foreign coffee. When I grew up, I knew that it was Banlangen.

2、我們都愛過,傷過,痛過,恨過,就是沒瘦過。

We all loved, hurt, hurt, hated, but never lost weight.

抖音最火的幽默搞笑說說大全 讓人笑趴下的逗比說說

3、在媽媽眼裡,所有病的起源都是因為不喝水,不吃青菜,不早早睡覺。

In my mother's eyes, the origin of all diseases is because I don't drink water, eat vegetables and go to bed early.

4、很多窮人都會討論錢和愛哪個更重要,兩樣都不關你的事好嗎?

Many poor people will discuss which is more important: money or love. It's none of your business, OK?

抖音最火的幽默搞笑說說大全 讓人笑趴下的逗比說說

5、我們家停電了,我只能一直不斷的進出樓梯尋找光明。

Our house is out of power. I have to keep going in and out of the stairs looking for light.

6、太久沒牽手,連拿個泡椒鳳爪都在顫抖。

I haven't held hands for a long time, even holding a pickled peppers and chicken feet are shaking.

抖音最火的幽默搞笑說說大全 讓人笑趴下的逗比說說

7、有人說我長得帥,我笑了,因為我笑起來更帥。

Some people say I look handsome, I smile, because I smile more handsome.

8、終於明白開學軍訓為什麼要前後左右的轉了,因為只有這樣才能晒得更均勻。

Finally, I understand why the military training at the beginning of the school should be rotated around, because only in this way can we get a more even sun exposure.

抖音最火的幽默搞笑說說大全 讓人笑趴下的逗比說說

9、突然發現,我對自己未來的所有計劃都有同一個開頭:等我有了錢。

Suddenly, I found that I had the same beginning for all my plans for the future: when I had money.

10、別人賴床是因為有錢,想睡多晚,就睡多晚,我賴床是因為沒錢,能省一餐,是一餐。

Other people stay in bed because they have money. I stay in bed as late as I want. I stay in bed because I don't have money. I can save a meal. It's a meal.

11、當一個人說我醜時我不以為然,當越來越多的人說我醜時,我才知道現在騙子越來越多了。

When a person says I am ugly, I don't think so. When more and more people say I am ugly, I know that there are more and more cheaters.

12、每次過年人家給我紅包都要推來推去的,其實吧我真怕這樣一推就真的給推走了。

抖音最火的幽默搞笑說說大全 讓人笑趴下的逗比說說

Every time someone gives me a red envelope for the new year, I have to push it back and forth. In fact, I'm afraid that such a push will really push it away.

13、其實開放二胎也是好的,因為我覺得我是找不到物件了,有個弟弟妹妹給我養老也是挺好的。

In fact, it's also good to open a second child, because I think I can't find a partner, and it's also good to have a younger brother and sister to provide for me.

14、你說你一直在我身後,那我上次掉的錢是不是被你撿了。

You said you were behind me all the time. Did you pick up the money I lost last time.

15、其實我小時候並不胖,真的,一句「不許剩飯」毀了我的一生。

In fact, I was not fat when I was a child. Really, a "no leftovers" ruined my life.

抖音最火的幽默搞笑說說大全 讓人笑趴下的逗比說說

16、有錢的人怕別人知道他有錢,沒錢的人怕別人知道他沒錢。

Rich people are afraid that others will know that they have money, and those without money are afraid that others will know that they have no money.

17、我馬上要戀愛了,和誰還不知道,我先替他高興一下。

I'm going to be in love soon. I don't know who I'm going to be with. I'll be happy for him first.

18、聽說吃快餐對身體不好,我趕緊訂了份外賣,讓外賣小哥慢點送。

I heard that eating fast food is not good for my health, so I quickly ordered a take out to let the take out boy deliver it slowly.

抖音最火的幽默搞笑說說大全 讓人笑趴下的逗比說說

19、昨天撿了一塊滑鼠墊,想配臺電腦,大家說還缺些啥呢?

Yesterday, I picked up a mouse pad and wanted to match it with a computer. What are you missing?

20、愛其實沒有錯,錯的是我們還沒學會愛,就急著去愛。

In fact, love is not wrong, the wrong thing is that we have not learned to love, we are eager to love.